If I live another 10 years

If I still live 10 years, that will be 3653 days of life with the upcoming leap days. If this were a sum of money, let’s say in euros, one could speak of a nice sum, but not of a fortune. So I wouldn’t have very much in my account anymore. If I multiply 3653 by 24, I get a hopeful 87672 life hours. I could continue the tally and now subtract how many hours I sleep, eat, tidy up, go to work, and so on. But that’s not important to me.

Because this is just looking at a linear timeline. Nothing is said here about the quality of those hours and the efficiency of activities that fill those hours. The calculation says nothing about the subjectively perceived time of an hour filled with depth, one of those hours that remain in the memory forever. An hour of truly lived time

where the senses are awake

in which a new realization is written into the scrapbook of consciousness,

in which a gust of inspiration drives the ship of life – perhaps after a lull – or steers it in a new direction,

in which love and harmony among us human brothers and sisters leaves a deep spiritual satisfaction,

in which the stillness of a satisfied and humble soul makes the connection with all life tangible, the all-unity, permeated by the flow of all-love…

Whatever marked that hour, it becomes our enduring possession, earning interest even when our memory malfunctions. Couldn’t we experience more of these hours? What needs to be done to create the conditions for this? How can the sacredness of the moment experienced become more accessible to consciousness?

And does that mean that all the hours in which I don’t have time for myself because working, raising children, tidying up, washing, cleaning, vacuuming, etc. fill these hours and are lost time? Is only life valuable that raises us above the simplicity of everyday activities?

It’s worth getting to the bottom of your own concepts and ideas about how to deal with time, and also to look the monster called “Zeitnot” in the eye. Very quickly we come to the question “HOW?”: How do I do something

how do I perceive

how engrossed am I in my work,

how do I fill the hour and divide the time

how tight is my self-made corset of my ideas,

how do I react to time-wasting projectiles fired at me from outside, to disruptive maneuvers that block my plans?

How awake am I actually to living my life?

am i alert

am i alive

In the vast, unimaginably complex clockwork of life’s processes, my life is woven as a tiny but significant cog. As long as it turns, I live. I can’t stop the wheel, catch up or skip a position. But I can sense its movement. I can perceive the movement of other cogs. I can also slow down or speed up my spin. Time is a mystery. The more we want to control them, the more life slips away from us. We do not have the power to change or stop the clockwork. We have no right to prevent other cogs from moving.

And so I’ve decided that I’d do well to spin happily, so excited with joy that my spin generates electricity. So much power that my hours can be written into the hard drive of my consciousness.

Leave a Reply